Psilocybin Helped Me Get Out of My Way
By Josh Wilson
For more than a year I had struggled with chronic pain in my lower back, left hip, and eventually my entire left leg. It started as a possible muscle strain or misalignment of my vertebrae from an injury at work (really no joint space laterally in the left lumbar region) I saw the chiropractor, used the R.I.C.E. method, did specific home exercises and found relief – momentarily anyway.
Life continued and with it came a job change, no medical insurance for the first time in decades, increased activity, and PAIN. The pain would change with different activities, the use of NSAIDS, and even be almost non-reportable at times. I trudged on day after day alternating activity, non-activity, NSAIDS, exercises, chiropractic care thinking that it must be changing. I was right, just not in a good way.
After a session of voluntary construction work, I was desperate and got an x-ray of my back and hips. The doctor emphasized, “you’ve got a lot of arthritis in that left hip but, the spacing in your vertebrae looks better. We can try an injection in your hip to get you moving again.” I got it done and actually felt human for almost 10 days, and then I didn’t.
We had a few excursions planned as a family during the spring and summer months so, there was no missing those memories. However, after walking up 5 flights of stairs during the first outing my left hip just had enough. Since the rest of me was able to move I just kept going, all be it much slower than everyone else.
The end of July rolled around, and I surrendered to one last option, micro-dosing. Current literature will tell you that psilocybin can potentially be used to treat chronic pain in bolus doses however, micro-dosing for chronic pain often exacerbates symptoms. Being an experienced psycho-naut I knew how effective psilocybin and other psychedelics can be when you want to gain interpersonal perspective and purpose. I was still having pain in multiple parts of my body and now my anxiety and depression were escalating, I needed to get clarity.
I chose to micro-dose psilocybin. If micro-dosing could potentially increase my symptomology, then by proxy, I would gain greater insight to what I needed to do. So, I applied .20 mgs of dried psilocybin mushroom to the juice from 1 freshly squeezed lemon, added a sweetening agent, stirred vigorously for 3-5 minutes, and drank it. Like clockwork, 15 minutes passed, and I felt my focus increasing, my body getting warmer, and just as I had hoped – my pain was greater! The more I moved the clearer it became that my left hip was damaged. Simultaneously, the truth came – “Josh, that s*#t is broke and you can’t fix it.” I had done everything possible to extend the life of my injury and now it was time to see a surgeon. A total of 30 minutes had passed from the time I drank the elixir to the time I had gain the clarity and answer I needed. Then I just proceeded with my day and within 3 hours the experience had completed its cycle.
Made the appointment with a surgeon who got an MRI quickly and confirmed, a new hip would be best. September 29th I got a new hip, woke up from surgery and immediately asked to get walking so I could head home that evening. No device needed, I had new parts!
In closure, I would like to offer the greatest reveal from my micro-dosing experience:
No matter what my previous experience with pain has been – 10 surgeries requiring repair or replacements, or what I think I know – LPTA for 10 years including DOR for 8 of them, or how strong I think I am – over 30 years of weight training and competitive lifting; I will only believe what I am willing to surrender to at the time. It is only when I am able to get out of the way and accept my current reality that I am truly able to heal and move forward with my life. I must remain humble and teachable in order to survive. Choosing to surrender is a strategic decision on my journey to success.
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